A great day

I took this a few weeks ago when the kids and I were at Bird's Hill. That was such a great day. I believe that was the White Tail Deer trail, a good one for little legs.

"Good to Great" and applications to church

The next part of Good to Great Collins talks about confronting the brutal facts wthout losing hope that we can prevail. He writes about companies needing to come to grips with the realities of a situation and acting on those realities while still maintaining a belief that they would persevere. Other companies that were in similar businesses but faltered did so because they had their blinders on about the realities of the situation or they became overwhelmed by the obstacles to overcome.

He then made an analogy of a real person, a man by the name of Jim Stockdale who had been a POW in Vietnam, tortured many times over the years. He eventually made it out and went on with his life in a successful way, including a book chronicalling the events of his time as a POW. Collins had a chance to talk with him and asked him about who didn't make it out.

Stockdale's answer was "The optimists. Oh they were the eones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say. 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart...This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end - which you can never afford to lose - with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

In this I saw parallels to the church and what is happening with the emergent church and post-charismatics. Many of us were in churches that were optimistic. "Revival is coming!" "Your cancer will be healed!" "You're depression will be gone!" I've heard preaching that would encourage people to actually ignore the reality that they see all around them in favour of what they would refer to as "spiritual truth".

But many of us tired of that. We got sick of the hope for more immediate things that didn't happen again and again and again. But we forgot that our hope is not for now, but for eternity. The now and the not yet. God is here for us now, but it is not in the fullness that we desire. And when we ignore the present facts, we sometimes fail to act in ways that would benefit us and others in the present.

The church, like all of us, cannot afford to ignore the brutal facts of reality for optimism. Neither can we go a route that denies the fact that God will prevail, and us with him. The church needs realists.

Churching

I was just reading a couple of blogs by people who have left the institutional church and reflecting that it was about a year ago that I left, only to find myself back. But as best as I can figure out, it is where God wants me, for now. I still have the inner fight with in me, the I want to be here/I don't want to be here conflict. I want to be there for my kids who love it. I want to be there to connect with many people that I love and respect and want to know better. I don't want to be there because I don't feel I am a part of the whole. And I still carry hurts.

The best way to deal with it has been to just focus on my children. I chose to be volunteer in Conor's class, and I actually had a blast when I did story time for 3 weeks. 2s and 3s is such a fun age when their pants aren't full of poo. And often I have good conversations with other parents and workers. Even when I'm not "on" I usually stay in Conor's class because he won't last long without me and I don't really want to be downstairs in the service, anyhow.

The toughest part is before kids' church starts and I have to be downstairs. Well, I guess I could arrive right before kids' church but the girls do love the worship time. I don't. To me worship represents rejection, it says "you're not good enough to be a part of this." Worship teams seem to be exclusive clubs that I never have the right credentials to join. I can't even figure out what the credentials are.

Good to Great

I'm reading the book "Good to Great" by Jim Collins. He and a team researched companies that went from performing good to outperforming other similar companies and the overall stock market. What they found, and didn't find surprised them.

The first thing they consistently found among good to great companies was what they called Level 5 leadership - people who had a bent to be the best but also a great deal of humility. These were not the celebrity CEOs with big egos. The CEOs behind good to great companies are often not very well known because they don't take a lot of credit, they give the credit to others.

I'm not sure if I've ever worked for a Level 5 leader. I don't see that absolute need - the need to be the best you can be and for your organization to be the best it can be - in a lot of people. "Good enough" is the general rule. In fact, Collins writes that good is the enemy of great. We don't have great companies because we have good companies. We don't have great governments because we have good governments. We don't have great churches because we have good churches. Not everyone has that drive to be the best one can be.

The second thing they consistently found was that the companies concentrated on getting the right people before they developed a vision or strategy. Again, I rarely see this. It seems like most companies and organizations invest a lot of time and effort into figuring out how to motivate people instead of hiring people who are intrinsically motivated. They found absolutely no relationship between compensation and perks and the performance of a company. Anyone remember when Chretien popped up all the salaries of MPs and/or ministers in order to attract the best people? Not a strategy that will work, according to this book. And that only makes sense - think of people you know in the non-profit and ministry sectors who absolutely rock but are paid peanuts compared to what they would be making if their skills were utilized by business (e.g. Harry Lehotsky, David Northcott). Money is not a good motivator. Find the people who are internally motivated, and pay them well (but not outrageously) and the rest will follow.

Another point that was quite important to me - I kept wondering how much time these strive for perfection people spent at the office. Another surprise: many of them didn't work evenings and weekends, they spent time with family and friends, served other causes and even puttered around with other things they enjoyed. In one interview the person said that if you assemble the right people around you, you don't have to spend a lot of time managing them.

Does this sound refreshing to anyone besides me? I am tired of reading job ads where they talk so much about what a person must have done but very little about who the person should be. I'm also tired of the 60-hour a week standard to really "succeed" at something. I long to be a part of something where I can shine because they value people who always want to do a little better, and they value people enough to let them have a life outside of work.

I'm 38 today.
20 years an adult - I thought I'd be way more mature.

Out of funk

I found a way to get out of my funk:

Out of funk-ness recipe

1 thoughtful husband
30 extra minutes in bed
1 egg
1 slice of toast with margarine
1 grapefruit
1 cup of coffee with cream
1 Bible
2 small children

Directions:
Marry thoughtful husband. Husband gets up instead of you, and insists that you stay in bed. Husband brings egg, toast, grapefruit and coffee to bed. Eat leisurely. Get out Bible. Recall what really matters (Love God, love others). Ask God to help you remember that. Get out of bed. Cuddle with children while watching a cartoon.

Bleah!

This week has sucked so far. Rob is very sick. I'm starting to get sick. Conor is also sick, and I found lice in his hair tonight. Luckily, he is a boy, so solving the lice problem on his head was a matter of clippers with the 3mm guide on them. Thought we were free and clear, hadn't seen any eggs or lice for 2 weeks. Checked girls. Ashlin's okay, Taryn had 2 lice and a few eggs. I don't know what's going on. Is it possible we are missing nits, or is Taryn getting reinfested at school? Tried Denorex on Taryn. Didn't notice any dead lice, but again, I only found two total after a very complete check(I am SO glad we got a terminator comb).

I have no work and no income. We're okay for a few weeks, though. This lack of work really got me thinking though - is this what I want life to be for the next 6-8 years as I work on my Masters part time? Struggling to find contracts I want to do until I have the qualifications to more easily get the kinds of job(s) I want? Decided no. If I get accepted, I'll be going for my Masters full time. 2 years and it's done.

This has a God-feel to it - I have peace about it, and perhaps I needed this time of no income to jolt me into making a big decision. Come to think of it, I generally do not make dramatic moves unless almost forced. Youth care for example - totally stressed and quite unsuited for the job, yet the only reason I left was because I got injured so badly I had to. Went for my BSW only because it was such a struggle to find decent employment. I find it really difficult to make big changes, which makes me wonder if God's hand is in this lack of employment just to get me to move on something.

However, best case scenario, even if accepted, it's 10 months before I start. So what does God have in mind for that time period? No clue. I feel like I've just got to trust him. What's the alternative?

Prayers appreciated. I'm a horrible mommy when I'm stressed.

More on HFCS

I found out what I wanted to know.
High fructose corn-syrup, a type of sugar that causes particularly huge spikes in blood sugar, making users more likely to overeat and become diabetic, is used in Canada.

However, it is not listed as high fructose corn syrup, making it difficult for people to avoid. It masquerades under the names: glucose syrup, fructose syrup, glucose-fructose or fructose-glucose.

This is in soft drinks, fruit "beverages", "cocktails" and nectars, as well as, I found out the other day, bread.

If anyone wants to know more about why you and your children should avoid products with HFCS, read The Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood : Ten Ways to Get Your Family on the Right Nutritional Track.

Then tell me I'm obsessing.

Food concerns

Today I feel like the world is out to get me, nutritionally speaking. Rob's been quite sick for the past few days, so I'm doing more of the household stuff. He usually bakes the bread we eat, but I didn't feel like I had time to bake, so I went out to buy some along with a few other items.

I have a few requirements for the bread I eat:
1. It should be whole grains only
2. It should not contain trans fat
3. It should not be high in sugar, and it should not list glucose-fructose as an ingredient because I suspect that is manufacturer's speak for high fructose corn syrup, a particularly damaging type of sugar that no one should eat unless they are really hankering for diabetes to strike.

There was not a single loaf of bread in IGA that met those requirements. Which is why I find it odd that one of the prime nutritional strategies in society today is reading labels. Yeah, I read the labels. Every brand was unhealthy. What good is reading labels if every choice that we have is unhealthy? There should be significantly more pressure applied to manufacturers to produce healthy foods. I don't buy that they can't afford it. Voortman's eliminated trans fat from their products before it even became an issue. It's a matter of will and ethics, not economics. Our health should not suffer for shareholders' profits.

I'm also tired of feeling like I'm fighting for my children's nutrition. We are in the midst of a childhood obesity crisis, and I'm doing all I can to make sure my children do not become statistics, including my own 47 pound weight loss, but everyone around me seems to want to feed my kids junk. Examples:
1. On "Blue Day" Ashlin's nursery school fed the kids blue juice, which automatically means coloured sugar water.
2. Another day they gave the kids Kraft Dinner, which I'm quite sure contains trans fats.
3. Fundraisers at nursery and elementary schools are things like selling chocolate and cookie dough.
4. Hot lunches at school are disgusting entities like hot dogs and chicken nuggets.
5. Every single week Taryn's music teacher gives the children candies.
6. Every single week the kids' grandparents have multiple treats such as chocolate bars, doughnuts, popsicles and freezies for the kids, and although I've talked again and again about limiting the treats I hear later from my kids that Grandpa and Grandma are sneaking them treats behind my back.

It is very frustrating to try to fight this onslaught all the time. Ashlin especially looks like she's inherited my body type - i.e. easily prone to weight gain - and I don't want her to follow my path. It is horrible to grow up fat. Are these people who push junk at my kids well-meaning? Absolutely. And I'm sure most of them would say, "These things are okay once in awhile." What they miss is that once in awhile plus once in awhile plus once in awhile soon equals all the time. I don't want to become the nutrition gestapo but it feels like it's either that or slowly let people ruin my kids' health with bad food.

Abstinence

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for one whole month."

The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the Church. When the Pastor ushers them into his office, the wife is crying, and the husband is obviously very depressed.

"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain fro m having sex.

The pastor asked him what happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult. However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible.. anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts. One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When shebent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.

"We know." said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at Home Depot, either."

No work

As of the 15th I have no more contract work, no job and no EI to fall back on. Every opportunity that seemed sure and hopeful fell through. I've been looking for jobs and the ones I'm qualified for I don't want b/c they are clinical work. Nonetheless, I'm applying for these jobs because it's better than not paying our bills.

The questions going through my mind are:
What does God want for me?
Does he have any plans for me, or am I pretty much on my own?
If he has a plan, could it include doing work that I don't seem suited for, even now that I seemed to be on a path which was a much better fit?

Terminator comb

I wasn't able to find the LiceMeister but PharmaPlus on McIvor and Henderson was selling the Terminator comb. As far as I could tell from the websites, they're virtually the same thing except for some spiral cuts around the teeth of the Terminator. So I bought one and tried it out on Taryn's hair.

That thing got out dozens of nits! No having to pull them out with my fingernails. I am so pleased I'm going to propose to my daughter's nursery school that we sell these as a fundraiser. A great use for it is checking for lice and nits (when you get the lice-note from school) so it's something that's good to have on hand even if you aren't dealing with lice at that moment.

Price of almond milk

With almonds going for $1.49 per 100 grams (Bulk Barn) the cost of making our own almond milk was $3.73 for 2 litres.

The "waste" product (leftover paste after filtering) can also be used in smoothies and yogurt in small amounts.

lice

I've been searching the internet and I keep finding statements that Nix doesn't work.

To that, I say, "No kidding." That's not what I want to say, but I'll keep my language clean for the moment.

For the last 3 weeks we have treated with Nix, kept checking, checking, and then bang, we find them again about 1 week later.

Forget pesticides. We are trying the mayonnaise treatment followed by daily applications of tea tree oil mixed with olive oil and applied to her scalp.

If that doesn't work she's going bald.