Fear

I was talking to this guy today, who I'll call Chad, who had been threatened by another guy, whom I'll call Thad. Accoding to Chad and someone else, Thad can be very violent and is potentially dangerous. However, if asked, Chad would say, "I'm not intimidated by him. I'm not scared of him."

The thing is, I don't believe Chad. Thad has the potential to seriously injure him, or more, and he is not the least bit intimidated, or the least bit scared? C'mon.

Yet it seems to be something I hear again and again from guys. "He doesn't scare me." B.S. Just for once, I'd like to hear a guy say, "Heck yeah, I'm scared spitless."

Funny Money

In the last while we have been spending more than usual. We spent quite a bit on the house to get it ready for sale. We got a second vehicle because I need a vehicle for work and Rob finds it difficult to get the kids back and forth to school without one, especially when his back is bad. And we've bought some furniture for the new house.

I've noticed that spending is linked with guilt for me. I have found it hard to enjoy some of the new pleasures, dare I say blessings, in our life and found myself feeling like I need to explain and justify our purchases (notice how much explanation I included about the car). I feel a bit torn. I don't wish to be part of a consumeristic lifestyle that seeks fulfillment from constantly getting more stuff. This comes from both spiritual and practical values.

On the other hand, I started to think I'm off balance. Here I have some nice new (to us) things in our life and I am constantly feeling like this is bad, instead of being able to enjoy it with thankfulness. How does God see all this, I wonder. Is he going "Tsk, tsk, too close a relationship with the root of all evil, there." Or does he look at me like I look at my kids on Christmas, thrilled to see the happiness that is there because sometimes my love does show itself in stuff.