A sense of "us"

Last night Rob and I were watching documentary material on the making of "The Return of the King". I was especially taken by the collaboration and teamwork that went into making this cinematic masterpiece. While Peter Jackson is the most notable name in it's production, it is so clear that he is just a piece of the puzzle in terms of it's development. The creativity of scores of individuals came together in a synergetic way, no one person's contribution particularly stands out over another's. People had to give up their ownership of their pieces in order to create the whole.

This strikes me as so profound in relation to what I've been thinking through in issues of family and work and church. I've always had a very strong sense of me, that I am different than others and can act independently. I've never had a terribly strong sense of being part of anything bigger than myself. Yet the potential for what can be when people are part of a co-operative team is so much greater than when we all act on our own. This sense of "us" is something that is growing in me, and I am excited about the potential that it could bring.

Mom wear

As I was treating stains the other day for some reason I got to thinking about clothes my mom used to wear around the house. She called the caftans, I've also heard them called mumus. They were so horrid.

Then I looked down and realized what my daughters will be saying in about 20 years. "Remember those cranberry plaid flannel pants mom used to wear at home? They were so butt-ugly. Thank goodness she never wore them outside."

reality

This reality stuff has it's pros and cons.

A pro - as I am more honest with God, I find our relationship growing. The other day I told him that verses that seem to imply that if you "aren't faithful" right to the end - well it's off to hell with you. I was left wondering - so if I am overcome by fear at some point, if I face tribulation, and in a moment of weakness say the wrong thing, I'm doomed? It made it hard to believe God is really for me. Underlying thoughts I never allowed to surface before.

So God replied - I think. He pointed out the differences between Peter and Judas. Peter was overcome by fear. Judas lost faith (if he ever had it). Peter made a sweeping declaration that Jesus was the Christ. He got scared and denied Jesus. But he loved Jesus, and when he saw him on the beach, Peter couldn't even wait to row back and just jumped into the water. They reconciled the incident because the underlying relationship was never gone.

Judas - who knows what he was thinking? I don't think he ever saw Jesus as the messiah, at least not the kind he wanted. He wasn't overcome by fear - he took the initiative to betray. In regret, he said "I've betrayed innocent blood," not, "I betrayed the son of God." And he remained isolated from Jesus, taking his own life rather than accepting Jesus' life offer.

I may at times be like Peter, but I am not a Judas.

Cons - it's sometimes hard to face reality. My dirty little secret? I've skipped church a lot in the last couple of months. I don't miss it much. I don't like not being there for my kids' sakes, but I don't regret it for my sake. There is a part of me that thinks, "Oh I should be there because I need community." Yet in dealing with going back and forth with kids do I get a sense of community? I experience that more on the phone and the net during the rest of the week. And I like the worship, and I like the speaking. But life doesn't seem too different whether I'm there or not. I don't like that.

I miss house group but house group does not fit in our lives right now. And I'm not sure we fit in a house group. Sometimes they can be as non-relational as a morning at church.

I'm not sure who all reads this and I don't want to offend anyone. But I know that this is a piece of reality to work through. I'm tired of going to church b/c it's what I've always done and I feel guilty if I don't. There's got to be more to it.

I believe this is what is called "natural consequences"

I told Taryn to stay out of my cupboard where she was starting to snoop again. Then I had to attend to Conor.
Taryn comes running into the kitchen a few minutes later with a weird cry, holding her mouth open and pointing. "What’s wrong?" I ask. She runs out, then runs back in holding something and pointing at it, still with the weird cry and the mouth open. It was my pepper-based dog repellent. I used to bike late at night and a friend convinced me to buy it for safety. I haven’t carried it for so long I forgot all about it.
Well, it stung a lot and pretty soon we were all coughing and sneezing. I got Taryn into the shower and told her to try to let the water run over her eye. She is screaming and screaming and I have to open the windows to air the place out. ("Hello, Mrs. Daly? This is CFS and we have some questions about the sounds from your house the other night.") I tried calling Health Links and got put on hold. So I hung up and then tried the police. They use this stuff, after all, they should know what to do with it. That person put me through to poison control, who said to put her in the shower. Okay - so we wait.

It took a while. She was chattering in the shower because the water got cold and she refused warm water because the cool water felt better. She's none the worse for wear now. Boy are we gonna hear it from her grandfather, though.

She's okay

Quite a relief. She's out of surgery and recovering.

surgery

Rob's mom's surgery is tomorrow. Please pray. We're worried.

CBC Marketplace: Buying into Sexy

CBC Marketplace: Buying into Sexy

Whoever didn't see Marketplace last Sunday should check out the web version of the show. It was about the sexually provocative products and images taken in by preteen girls. Unfortunately, while it was clear that Marketplace wanted to discourage this practice, by only featuring the helpless sort of parents who just give into their girl's demands because they don't want their poor little dears to be left out. Featuring some strong parents would have shown another way of parenting (i.e. saying no once in a while, teaching virtues).

Our stance? Our kids aren't there yet, but we've talked about what we will do. First off, we will never subscribe to Much Music. Second, the kids will not spend money without us there in their pre teen years. Third, when they are old enough to shop on their own, we'll give them clear guidelines on acceptable clothes. The mantra if they get something inappropriate? "Return it or burn it." Most importantly, the kids featured have NO idea of the effect of how they dress. And they shouldn't, because they're too young. But when old enough, kids should hear from their Dads how the male mind functions. It's ridiculous in our society that we condemn adults who feel sexually attracted to kids while we are simultaneously dressing kids up to be sexually attractive.

What joy! What bliss!

I am done macroeconomics!

Not my best piece of poetry, admittedly. But heartfelt. Hard, hard course. But I think I did well in the end. The reason I took it was to understand policy better, and already I have read some things that make a whole lot more sense since taking this course.

Now I shall blather on.

Did you know that there is trans fat in baby food? And that even when the regulations come into effect that manufactureres must report if their products have trans fat, baby food and formula is exempt? That's crazy! Start them on heart disease early - whose idea was this?

I did finally get Conor onto solids, btw. It was a combination of finding things he could gnaw on that he wouldn't choke on (that didn't have trans fat!) and shoving spoonfuls of food into his mouth during breastfeeding sessions. Someone said that was mean, but it worked! Now you should see him with mashed potatoes.

Alas I was not able to get Ashlin totally toilet trained. She can use the toilet but doesn't do so consistently. Everything I've read about toilet training says to wait until a time that's not too stressful where you can devote some time and attention to it. When is that, exactly?

Those photographs at the side are getting dated! I'm gonna have to put some new ones up - Will Au took some great pictures of us in fall. Just have to figure it out. In the meantime - check out his website! http://www.williamau.com/

Rob and I hosted a house group when we were first married and we've often thought that we'd like to do it again when we have the room. I have been having so many dreams and impressions about our next home being a place of community and seem to be getting a feel for what such a group would look like - very Adrian Plass - a place of reality. I was just reading in one of his books last night that the phrase "The truth will set you free" can be translated "Reality will set you free."

Conor's crying - that's all for now.

Brain Dead

I have given up studying anymore. My brain will not take any more info. Today Taryn asked me "are you never going to be with us anymore?" GUILT.
I have been comanded to update, so what do you all want to know? Would you like to know about my infant feeding model done from a harm reduction standpoint? Somehow, I think not. Actually, here's something cool. I recently read an interview in which the author being interviewed talked about spending 10 minutes a day trying to listen to God. I know this is not a new concept, but I usually hear about people doing this for such long periods of time I guess I thought, for me, it was not realistic but 10 minutes I can do. I write down whatever comes to mind and after the 10 minutes I ponder and pray about each one a little more. I really think God's been speaking to me.
Here's a theological question, does it make sense to pray for a certain job or should one just pray for God's will to be done? That could apply to alot of things. How specific should our prayers be?
By the way, Rob's mom goes in for surgery on the 14th and she will have part of her lung removed. We appreciate your prayers.