Mini-trip

I'm back. Didja miss me? Course you didn't, I didn't tell you I was going anywhere. And where did I go? Killarney and Brandon. Why, you may ask. Well, the sad news is that my sister's father-in-law died. So my sister and fam came out from BC for the funeral here in MB. At first I was just planning to go by myself out for the funeral on Thursday and come back the same evening. But after I tucked the kids into bed on Wednesday evening I found that it just didn't feel right. You see, all of our kids get along amazingly well and really enjoy each other. My children constantly talk about wanting to see their cousins. And while the occasion is a sad one, any time to see family is probably a good time to do so when they live so far away.

So we went out for the funeral (kids and I, Rob's back won't allow him to sit for a 3 hour drive), stayed the night in Brandon at a hotel with a pool which was a totally new experience and thus an adventure. Taryn sounded like the poster child for Days Inn. "Days Inn is a great hotel. I think it's the best hotel there is!" I was reminded again of how joyful experiences for my children are so simple: seeing cows and horses and bales along the way, spending time in the Sunday School section of the church with their cousins doing whatever occurred to them while their parents gabbed at the funeral luncheon, playing at a park, picking out a treat at a gas station, getting ice from the hotel ice dispenser, experiencing a continental breakfast.

The more I am around people who are grieving, the more I understand that death is just a part of life, and we need to learn to walk that path well. I was kind of concerned about having my kids around people who are grieving, especially my sister's MIL. Would the sounds of children be more irritating than joyful? But I needn't have worried. Just as I saw that my children's presence seemed to help my mom when my dad died, their presence in this situation seemed to just be normal and leant some smiles and laughter to the time. People said how glad they were we could come out to be with my sister. That is what is needed during grief - relationship, contact, not isolation.

In those long drives back and forth I also discovered more peace about the situation I have just been through at work. First of all, it matters so little. While the expereinces there were often hurtful, they do not rule me, they will not determine my destiny. Second of all: my detractors are wrong. I don't need them to acknowledge it in order for me to know it. I did a great job there, whether or not it is recognized - and in fact, more people expressed positive sentiments to me than expressed negativity. It's too bad they cannot hear my feedback because it would benefit them to change. But it's too bad for them, not for me. I can shake the dust off. They have to live with themselves.

And Rob was able to get a lot more of the house done. A few steps closer to being able to move.