Events
Last week I sent out an email around the University's rejection of my degrees. It went to fellow alumni and others asking for input that could help me in an appeal or in a human rights complaint. One particular friend sent it to someone else, who sent it to seomone else who sent it to an old professor of mine who now works in a role supporting the role of Christian post-secondary education in Canada. He expressed interest in helping me with my appeal, as has the president of one of the colleges I went to.
In the meantime, I have had second thoughts about ever doing a human rights complaint. At first I thought about it from a perspective that I have nothing to lose. Then I realized that losing an appeal like that could just set some people's poor attitudes in concrete, contributing to their distrust of faith-based education and possibly creating a harder time for other graduates in making headway. While I don't rule out a human rights complaint, it will be something that I'd have to have fairly strong evidence for, and I don't think that kind of evidence is out there.
On Thursday I dropped Taryn off at school and headed down MacGregor to work. The car in front of me stopped very suddenly, and I slammed on my breaks, tires squeeling, and stopped just in time. Then I heard squeeling behind me and looked in my mirror just in time to see a white minivan plow into our TransSport. Our van hardly looks like it was hit. Hers looked like it would be totalled. She couldn't drive it off the street and rad and transmission fluid were leaking all over the place. Someone called 911 so while we were exchanging information we heard sirens, looked at each other and said, "Is that for us?" Sure enough, an ambulance, fire truck adn police were soon on the scene. Seemed like overkill as we were all okay. The paramedics heavily encouraged us to go to hospital just in case. I refused to go in ambulance but decided to go on my own because if I ended up in pain in the next few days I wanted to CMA for insurance purposes. I waited 6 hours at the hospital. Surprisingly, I have had relatively minor amounts of pain or discomfort from the accident
Friday I flew to Saskatchewan, rented a car, drove out to Mom's and picked her up, went back to the airport and picked up my sister, then we spent the next couple of days shopping and at Manitou Springs. My work has given me new insights in how to respond to my mother's idiosyncracies. Yes, she's Fragile X, not FASD, but because both conditions affect the mind and thinking, the learning I've done about FASD has helped me to understand possible reasons behind her limitations. Still, she surprises me, although I don't know why anything surprises me at this point. For example, I learned that she has no idea how to floss. 71 years old and it appears she has never flossed properly. I attempted to show her how and she handled it the way my daughters did when they started to try at age 4 - grabbing both ends of a long piece and trying to shove it through the spaces between 2 sets of teeth, one on each side of her mouth, at the same time. She couldn't figure out how to wind it around her fingers or manipulate it between her teeth.
She also does not pick up on social cues. At one point we both entered an elevator and I made a small talk remark to someone who was already in there. The person smiled politely. Then my mom said something to the person, too. The person smiled politely again. My mom said something else; the person smiled uncomfortably. My mom said something that she thought was funny, but wasn't, and laughed, all the time looking at the very uncomfortable person, who was probably extremely relieved to be able to get out at the next floor. Social cues are a very abstract idea. Most of us can get the rule - that you don't keep on talking to a stranger who is not responding in kind - without being explicitly told the rule. But not everyone's mind can pick up on this. I think Mom may have been able to learn some of these things when she was younger, but now she's just too stubborn to change anything.
Just before flying back I was able to visit a couple of people, including the people who are buying our farmyard and see how they have begun to fix the place up. It looks really good and I always feel good to see the family loving the place I grew up.
In the meantime, I have had second thoughts about ever doing a human rights complaint. At first I thought about it from a perspective that I have nothing to lose. Then I realized that losing an appeal like that could just set some people's poor attitudes in concrete, contributing to their distrust of faith-based education and possibly creating a harder time for other graduates in making headway. While I don't rule out a human rights complaint, it will be something that I'd have to have fairly strong evidence for, and I don't think that kind of evidence is out there.
On Thursday I dropped Taryn off at school and headed down MacGregor to work. The car in front of me stopped very suddenly, and I slammed on my breaks, tires squeeling, and stopped just in time. Then I heard squeeling behind me and looked in my mirror just in time to see a white minivan plow into our TransSport. Our van hardly looks like it was hit. Hers looked like it would be totalled. She couldn't drive it off the street and rad and transmission fluid were leaking all over the place. Someone called 911 so while we were exchanging information we heard sirens, looked at each other and said, "Is that for us?" Sure enough, an ambulance, fire truck adn police were soon on the scene. Seemed like overkill as we were all okay. The paramedics heavily encouraged us to go to hospital just in case. I refused to go in ambulance but decided to go on my own because if I ended up in pain in the next few days I wanted to CMA for insurance purposes. I waited 6 hours at the hospital. Surprisingly, I have had relatively minor amounts of pain or discomfort from the accident
Friday I flew to Saskatchewan, rented a car, drove out to Mom's and picked her up, went back to the airport and picked up my sister, then we spent the next couple of days shopping and at Manitou Springs. My work has given me new insights in how to respond to my mother's idiosyncracies. Yes, she's Fragile X, not FASD, but because both conditions affect the mind and thinking, the learning I've done about FASD has helped me to understand possible reasons behind her limitations. Still, she surprises me, although I don't know why anything surprises me at this point. For example, I learned that she has no idea how to floss. 71 years old and it appears she has never flossed properly. I attempted to show her how and she handled it the way my daughters did when they started to try at age 4 - grabbing both ends of a long piece and trying to shove it through the spaces between 2 sets of teeth, one on each side of her mouth, at the same time. She couldn't figure out how to wind it around her fingers or manipulate it between her teeth.
She also does not pick up on social cues. At one point we both entered an elevator and I made a small talk remark to someone who was already in there. The person smiled politely. Then my mom said something to the person, too. The person smiled politely again. My mom said something else; the person smiled uncomfortably. My mom said something that she thought was funny, but wasn't, and laughed, all the time looking at the very uncomfortable person, who was probably extremely relieved to be able to get out at the next floor. Social cues are a very abstract idea. Most of us can get the rule - that you don't keep on talking to a stranger who is not responding in kind - without being explicitly told the rule. But not everyone's mind can pick up on this. I think Mom may have been able to learn some of these things when she was younger, but now she's just too stubborn to change anything.
Just before flying back I was able to visit a couple of people, including the people who are buying our farmyard and see how they have begun to fix the place up. It looks really good and I always feel good to see the family loving the place I grew up.
posted by Jude | 9:41 PM
5 Comments:
Wow... its sounds like you have been quite busy! I think you should appeal the desicision made by the university, but not necessarily take it to Human Rights. You are correct, you must have concrete evidence that it is against your human right, and not having that in righting may make it difficult.
Second, I am so glad to hear that you and your family were okay after the accident.
It's interesting that you are able to take what you are learning and view your mom differently. Did it make the visit more "enjoyable" or comfortable... maybe that's a better word?... being able to see some of the things she does the way you could?
I don't think my objective viewpoint makes the visits more positive, but makes them less negative. I'm less likely to get angry or annoyed, more likely to let things roll off my back.
...and then I'll go over each incident with my mom over and over and over again with my husband until he's ready to put a bullet in his brain. ;)
Keep updating about your case with the university. I think it very important.
Will do.
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