Coming to a year later

I've often heard people talk about the "anniversary date" of a loss that happened in their lives. I never fathomed how a simple date could take on such meaning as to affect emotion. I understand it now. Father's Day: the last time I talked to my Dad. The first day of summer: the day Dad died. I find myself on edge and teary a lot more these days.

Grieving is such an invisible process in our culture. We 're past such things as wearing particular clothing during a period of mourning. I think that is one thing we could stand to gain back - an outward expression of inward grief, for a couple of reasons. First, it carries with it an expectation of appropriate response and of understanding. Second, I think that symbolism can carry with it powerful healing - that of allowing oneself to grieve instead of ignoring it, and when the symbol is put aside, a real resolve to move on.

I know it's necessary to keep grieving, but I don't want to wallow. I want to mark that day in a way that is life-giving.