discussing discussions

I get a charge out of discussion and debate (if I dare call it debate – I think some fear the term). I gather the Apostle Paul did, too, from all those rambling epistles he wrote, so I think I'm in good company.

But - important to do it in love, and I'm sensing that some feel that I and my hubby are failing in that regard. If so, I'm not sure where, because for us this has been about ideas from the start, not people. I don't think we have called anybody a name, but we have been challenging of ideas. I think we can separate how we feel about a person from what we think about their ideas, and I think we have done so.

I'll admit, I have a very strong internal reaction in this discussion - and by discussion I am including the swirling entries on various blogs: Yvonne's, Cindy's, Shane's. Why? Well, while I was never involved in the first discussions, they were about a decision I had also made. Some of the things said:

“participating in an exclusively pagan event” and “choos[ing] darkness” and “loitering in the middle” were phrases used to describe the decision to participate at all.

Comparisons to cancer, going to a strip club and doing crack cocaine were made.

People talked about black and white, light and darkness and compromise, implying that those who participate are in the black, embracing darkness and compromising.

There was definitely the belief present that the decision to participate was wrong. But, I chose to see this as a commentary on the decision, and not the decision makers. I have responded about the logic, and the theology, but I don’t see where I or Rob have maligned anyone. If you who are reading this feel we have maligned someone, please point that out.

Bluntly put: I believe those who believe the decision to participate is wrong, are themselves wrong (which is not the same as the decision not to participate being wrong – the decision either way has to be based on conscience). I don’t think they are evil or stupid, but I do not agree with their opinion on this issue. And I responded because I believe it is important for Christians to think and discuss.

I also realize that some are uncomfortable with the idea of Christians disagreeing and discussing, or it is okay to discuss a little bit and then you’d best shut ‘er down. I don’t feel or believe that way. I see an awful lot of discussion going on in the NT, an awful lot of examining issues in light of scripture, sharpening thinking skills. I want to see more discussion in the church, not less. We have seen the church focus on little, bitty issues (men’s earring come to mind) and become divisive over it, and that is sad. But now the pendulum has swung the other way, and some Christians seem willing to tolerate really, really bad theology in the name of love, and I think that is sad, too (I am not referring to the Halloween discussion in this, but rather things like the health and wealth movement).

Where is this discussion on the spectrum? I see it as having the potential of eternal consequences, and seemingly so do the people on the other side of the issue. If those who disagree with me are right, by “participating in darkness” I could be setting a bad example for my children and leading them to compromise on all sorts of areas, as well as not differentiating the church from the world. If I am right, the decision to boycott Halloween could be seen as flakery and one more reason to just reject Christianity outright, and a compromise on the issues of freedom in Christ and rejection of legalism.

I can allow for a certain amount of personality differences, too. I have spent too many years lamenting the fact that I seem to be a mind-person surrounded by spirit-people. I feel like God spoke to me about that lately. I remember feeling very excited about a book I was reading and the ideas it was generating and praying about it and talking about it and the thought came into my head that, “For you, Judi, this is worship.” What? My love for thinking, analyzing, generating and validating ideas has a spiritual side to it? I was stuck in a framework of having to somehow change me to be a person who operates differently than what comes naturally. Now, I’m seeing the way I operate as a gift. I couldn’t be in the career I am in without that gift, and the career I am in is where I firmly believe God wants me. So I don’t expect that everyone is going to be energized and engaged in the same way in discussions such as these. But for those of us who are, I believe we are created that way for a reason, to be people who challenge the church to think in a way that makes her grow and become stronger. I have a place! Who knew? But are others willing to let me have that place, or does debate scare so much that my role will be rejected? I have definitely felt that rejection at various points. Now I am questioning the rejection rather than myself. In wherever God is leading our family, I believe it will include a strong thinking/discussion dynamic.

I think this whole discussion as it has spilled from blog to blog has been important and needed. It has felt uncomfortable and scary for some at times. It’s okay to feel that way, but I encourage people to not let those feelings shut down future discussions. We can work through issues while still loving people. We really can.