Are you looking for a new church?
Where are you going now?
Have you found a place yet?

I've been asked questions like that in the last while, but right now I'm thinking more about when I was the one asking the questions of friends who had left their churches. I've always attended a church except for Bible College which was like being in church constantly. I've also always had someplace to go before leaving one. So at first I didn't want to even say I'd left WCV until I actually knew where I was going. Then it became obvious to me that, like it or not, I'd left. As I remember telling a boyfriend when we broke up, it comes down to that I just don't feel the same way anymore. It was awkward to not be going anywhere.

Then something happened. I felt like God told me to quite worrying about attending a church and concentrate on being the church. And now those things I used to ask and worry about in my friends' lives seem strange to me. Why was I so worried if they did not belong to a local body? Why was I so relieved when they found a place to park their backsides each Sunday? Why was that enough for me to believe that spiritually they were okay? Sure, they may not be relating or feel a part of community, but at least they're attending.

Now I'm examining the emerging church and realizing there are many Christians out there who are relating, loving and being the church without necessarily belonging to anything that looks like a local body. And they are happy. And they are questioning what the church should look like. And so am I.

What is church? I was talking about CPC this week and repeated what I have heard the ED say a few times, "I don't think CPC is parachurch, I think it is the church." I know many people find that hard to swallow. But what is the church? CPC is a place where people love each other, minister to the world, receive ministry, pray, find healing, have fun and grow into Jesus' likeness. Is that not the church? Does the NT distinguish between universal church, local church and parachurch? We are the church, no matter what form we're found in. But, as Cindy asked on her blog, does the form suit the function?

I don't want to just attend anymore. It's not enough for me. I want to know and be known, to come to a place of relationship where I can genuinely care for people instead of it feeling forced so much of the time. I believe if I never attend again but have a network of real relationships, people who encourage me and spur me on to love and good deeds, and I do the same for them, I'll be way ahead of where I have been - attending with little to show for it. I'm not saying attending in itself is bad, but for me, it replaced what I needed. I'm focusing on relationships, and I feel more free and alive spiritually than I have in a long, long time.