book's done

It was a great read. Now to integrate to life.

Pro and con - it is not prescriptive. It is not a book that says, when your child does this, then do that. Good because it allows for differences between children and families, trusting parents to find what works for them. Con- it is harder to think than to not.

But, as I said, I'm trying it. I'm trying to forge stronger attachments and discipline from an attachment perspective. Interestingly enough, this is the exact opposite approach that I got from another book that I probably raved about on this very blog: 1-2-3 Magic. Neufeld urges parents to use connection (be with your child) rather than separation (time-out) to discipline. His argument as to why makes sense, but it is a switch, especially since Rob and I had 1-2-3 downpat and Rob has not read this book, so we're really parenting two different ways right now.

So far: this feels right. I like how the girls are responding when I approach things from an attachment perspective. And as much as it is harder to think through rather than a 1-2-3 reaction, I do find that their behaviour makes sense when I view it through the attachment lens. I more often see what they need in order to start behaving as I want them to. Big changes: I am no longer pushing my children to be independent but inviting dependence and the focus is more on our relationship than their behaviour.They seem happier and I feel closer to them.