transitions

I am no longer a breastfeeding mother. That has been a bitter sweet transition, because I was thinking I would bf Conor until about 2. That was partly because I believe so strongly that it is so good for kids' health, and partly because I have felt bad about how soon we had to introduce formula on the side due to my going back to school so soon after he was born and I at least wanted to give him the added benefits of extended feeding.

When I went back to Saskatchewan by myself to handle some of the estate matters things did not go well. I brought along my pump but for some reason couldn't get much of a let down, so I was engorged and uncomfortable much of the time. My production probably went down to practically nothing after that. I thought I'd have to make another trip in September and was not looking forward to repeating the scenario.

And personality wise, Conor was so much more ready. Taryn needed to bf for a long time and was difficult to wean, Ashlin a little less so. Conor is an absolute cuddle monster, but it doesn't have to be connected to bfing with him. I knew he could handle it. I was tired of 5 am feedings. It made sense.

But stil, bittersweet. I have loved the closeness of bfing. It is a very special time that I know I will never have again. My final baby is not going to be a baby much longer.