The root of all evil sure could come in handy sometimes

Had a conversation recently about money and how it never seems to be enough, and as a result I started to become aware of just how many times a day I think, I’d like to get _______, but we can’t afford it. It could be anything: tumblers, a new nursing bra, the van’s side mirror fixed, a bill paid off, a swimming pool. From the mundane to the entertaining to the useful to the almost useless, these thoughts invade my head dozens of times a day. The list of stuff Rob and I want to get once I am finally gainfully employed in my chosen profession has grown quite large.

I could go different places on this train of thought. The social worker in me wants to comment on the stresses of money and how it plays into destructive tendencies in relationship, or go on a soapbox of how socially regressive Canada is and why can’t we be more like Sweden? I could talk about the guilt and unworthiness that goes along with asking for assistance or how I have also realized that I am still amongst some of the richest in the world.

But this one goes deep. Time and time again it seems I am going back to Matthew, where Jesus says not to worry about food and clothes. I know some look at those verses as an iron-clad guarantee that God will give us what we ask for. But in context, Jesus preceded this by talking about our hearts being where our treasure is. God does provide needs. Then again, sometimes he doesn’t. There are too many stories, whether contained in the Bible or since that time, in which God’s followers go without and sometimes die in need, to take this thought as assurance that God will give whatever we ask, even when it comes to things like food and clothing. Our place of needs being fully met is in heaven, not here. Jesus seems to be saying to not worry, not because we are guaranteed provision, but because ultimately these are not the things that are important.

Where is my heart? Where is my treasure? I don’t think I like the answer. God, let me value what you value, let me chase after the things that are eternal. Let my thoughts be preoccupied with the life that is the kingdom. I cannot change without you.