Ran into an old co-worker the other day. We caught up on current news and then she announced that she recently got married – to another woman. That and some of the blogs on tolerance that have appeared recently on friends’ sites has got me thinking about this topic a bit more than usual.

It’s a very tricky area for a Christian social worker. There's at least one social work program in the states that won't admit evangelical Christians for that exact reason: intolerance. I perceive that in my career I am going to have to watch what I say constantly and choose words verrrrry carefully.

A few of my thoughts: First, it does not seem to be tolerance that is desired by many in the gay community, but agreement. It is anyone's right to desire agreement, but call it what it is. Don't say you're asking people to be tolerant of you when what you really want is acceptance of your beliefs as being right.

Second, I think we have a very weird way of looking at sexuality. We've divided it up into 3 categories: gay, straight and bi-sexual, and are totally obsessed with figuring out which one anyone fits into. I see sexual attraction on a spectrum: some people only have ever been attracted to the opposite sex, others to the same sex - the far ends of the spectrum. Others lie somewhere in between, like a person who has only been attracted to the opposite sex until meeting one particular person of the same sex. People seem to move on the spectrum. There are those who used to feel attracted to the same sex that do not feel those attractions anymore. Categories are just too hard and rigid. A spectrum, to me, is a better way of viewing it.

Third, attraction, behavior and identity all seem to be tangled up together in one big idea of gay/lesbian/bi. I think they should be thought of as separate things. Attraction does not need to rule behavior. Nor does it need to decide identity. That is why Christians are targetted as homophobic. We do not see the behavior as being right. However, as attraction=behavior=identity in the gay community (this is my observation/opinion) there is an assumption that not approving of the behavior is condemning the person.