church

Rob and I have done some talking/dreaming about what church could be for us. Really important to say that - for us. I don't feel like there is a right way and a wrong way to do church (outside of the obvious - sexual sacraments are right out, for example). I think that we have a lot of unique personalities because we are supposed to reflect different parts of God's nature. I think different people being drawn to different formats is completely appropriate. Unity in diversity.

I had a great conversation with someone who told me her vision for a church. And it was very different from mine. Almost opposite in many ways. I don't find her vision wrong or distorted. I think that is one reason why there are so many church splits: people have different visions and we somehow get the idea that a good fit for us must be how every church should operate. Instead of seeing a different vision as an opportunity (for a church plant, perhaps) we see it as a threat to our pet way of doing things. It feels good to be able to look at WCV and think, I care about these people, I appreciate where they are going, but I don't fit. In the past I have departed churches with feelings of superiority or anger. None of that this time. Different is good.

But I feel lost. I was raised in church. I have always identified myself with some kind of body, even if I felt like I was a square peg in a round hole. I don't like this place of not truly being anywhere.

But maybe this time is good, maybe it's for a reason. I know in the void I have allowed myself to think, to dream. I read a lot of books lately that challenge the usual ways of doing things. Parenting differently, working differently, eating differently. I didn't even realize there was a theme going through them until yesterday. But that has me thinking about doing church differently and starting to question my assumptions about what must be.