don't worry - be happy
Reading Shannon’s post on the Breathe site on can one really choose happiness had me thinking all day. Just a few days ago I had one of these happy happy joy joy Christian songs going through my head (and now that it’s out I’m glad I have forgotten which one so forgive me if I don’t put a whole lot of effort into remembering the title). It was something about being constantly happy since becoming a Christian. That sure hasn’t been my experience. I get so tired of hearing people who insist "I’m healed!" while coughing up a lung. Most Christian TV shows seem to want to portray that, too. Life’s just peachy with Jesus. No cares! No worries!
No way.
I had a time in my life when I tried really, really hard to project the happy, bubbly persona I thought people would love. I was deeply depressed but constantly got remarks such as "You have the world by the tail, Jude!" A friend from that time reappeared in my life about eight years later and remarked how much I had changed – much more subdued. Yes, now I’m me.
Back then I wasn’t choosing happiness. I was denying reality. I no longer deny what is true. If I’m stressed, sick, sad, angry, overwhelmed I admit it. But I’m learning to no longer be a slave to those things. Sometimes one just has to be in a certain mood. If one is grieving a loss, it’s appropriate to feel sad. But other times there are beliefs that get in the way. When I was starting to feel overwhelmed today, I realized I was again believing that chores #1-10 HAD to be done today. Where did the HAD to come from? Once I told myself that I could do or not do whatever I chose, I could leave things and I could take the time to enjoy things and people, the overwhelmed left.
So I feel cautious about the "choosing to be happy" stuff. If it’s not in line with what is true and real, it’s just putting a happy mask on. But if it’s confronting deeper truths, it can be real and it can be good.
I also realized that all these good things often start with love. I want my family to be happy. I don't want my children and hisband to be upset by my upsetness. Sometimes I start by thinking how I can enjoy our day today. And then the other stuff comes. I think the punctuation of the fruits of the spirit should be "Love: joy, peace..."
No way.
I had a time in my life when I tried really, really hard to project the happy, bubbly persona I thought people would love. I was deeply depressed but constantly got remarks such as "You have the world by the tail, Jude!" A friend from that time reappeared in my life about eight years later and remarked how much I had changed – much more subdued. Yes, now I’m me.
Back then I wasn’t choosing happiness. I was denying reality. I no longer deny what is true. If I’m stressed, sick, sad, angry, overwhelmed I admit it. But I’m learning to no longer be a slave to those things. Sometimes one just has to be in a certain mood. If one is grieving a loss, it’s appropriate to feel sad. But other times there are beliefs that get in the way. When I was starting to feel overwhelmed today, I realized I was again believing that chores #1-10 HAD to be done today. Where did the HAD to come from? Once I told myself that I could do or not do whatever I chose, I could leave things and I could take the time to enjoy things and people, the overwhelmed left.
So I feel cautious about the "choosing to be happy" stuff. If it’s not in line with what is true and real, it’s just putting a happy mask on. But if it’s confronting deeper truths, it can be real and it can be good.
I also realized that all these good things often start with love. I want my family to be happy. I don't want my children and hisband to be upset by my upsetness. Sometimes I start by thinking how I can enjoy our day today. And then the other stuff comes. I think the punctuation of the fruits of the spirit should be "Love: joy, peace..."
posted by Jude | 9:04 PM
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