Mind in transition

All may not be lost regarding a job. I heard something Wednesday that could keep me in the running, but so much is unknown now. The funny thing is, I've had so long to think about self-emplyment and contract work, that I'm no longer sure I want a job. I'm really, really starting to like the idea of a home office, with all it's challenges.

I'm a farm girl and so home life and family life intermingling was normal for me. Daddy might be out on the field but he was home for lunch. Often I just had to walk across the yard and go see him as he worked on something in his workshop.

The show "Circus" was something we watched a while back and Rob and I both had to admit that we loved the concept of family that we saw. Families travelling together, working together.

I think Rob and I have both felt so alone so much of our lives that finding each other was...I'm not sure how to express it. We just feel most right with each other. I've heard other couples talk about needing time away from each other and work being good for that. While we do have alone times - like Rob playing video games or me blogging - we feel best when we're near each other.

However, there is something to be said for a steady paycheque and benefits. I read yester day that in the civil service 50% of employees (75% of sr. managers) are due to retire in the next 10 years. So the possibilities of what I could do in a career will probably grow if I did get a job in gov't.

I feel like the whole question of what to pray for now is moot. I don't know what to pray for. I don't know what I want. I'm just praying that God will do what he knows is best.