Women today

I read the book Hating Women last week. Good read. Boteach, a rabbi and somewhat celebrity (he has his own show on TLC) speaks as a concerned father of daughters about how females are maligned in our society. Can't disagree with that. He talks about the false empowerment that appears when women talk about how strong they are to appear in Playboy or Girls Gone Wild videos. Also can't disagree.

He talks about how in the past, women were considered superior to men and that it was widely understood that the world needed their feminine influence. Uh - don't think so - women in the past were treated as if they were beneath men, as can be seen by a cursory reading of history. Boteach overlooks the obvious contradiction by saying that society did not implement the belief well, which just seems silly.

He talks about how women need to band together and come against this hostility, speak out against the disparaging images of women, protest against mistreatment. I agree, but I think he is wrong in that it is not just women that need to band together, it is concerned people. Just as many men as women should speak out against degradation, more men than women should take action on some concerns, for as Jackson Katz points out in an interview on his book (which is now on the must-read list) violence against women is fundamentally a male problem, yet we treat it as if it's a female problem, and it does not get better.

It is difficult, too, for women to rally together, as what is there to unite us? The feminist movement failed miserably. I see 2 reasons for this. First of all, feminists themselves insulted, and continue to insult, women who choose to become full time mothers, only giving value to that which men already ascribed value to. Women insisted on the changing of women more than the changing of society's attitudes to women. The feminist movement gave value only to choices that were typically made by men.

Second, the feminist movement became indistinguishable from the abortion movement, and women's rights became defined by abortion itself. This drove a deep wedge in between women in society. While some women felt like they must be like men and be able to not be pregnant in order to be equal to men, others understood that abortion is in fact denying the unborn rights in much the same way that men denied them to women. Feminists missed out on the chance to give dignity to women's procreative power, instead only valued what was a characteristic of men: the ablity to not carry a child. Even today, it seems that the only really huge women's demonstrations are about abortion, which is pretty weird because it's legal. I was at a child care conference where a major Canadian feminist was invited to speak and she chose to speak on women's rights and the victory of legalized abortion. At a child care conference. It would have been funny were it not so unspeakably sad.

So is there a new movement that needs to happen? One that incorporates both men and women, and one that seeks to give dignity to all people, regardless of age or birth status? One that stands up for people's rights and recognizes the inherent dignity of life? One that stands for love, giving and generosity? Then I remembered that that is supposed to be the church.