I meant to go for just one Sunday, and then got sucked into the whirlpool known as Kids' Church. Electives started, making it unfair to Taryn, the teacher and the other kids involved to go ahead with my planned "in and out as I feel like it" approach.

So I have been at church for 3 Sundays now (I won't say "back" because I am still sticking with visitor status for the moment).

I am still finding it hard to resolve the conflictual emotions of being drawn in and at the same time wanting to run away or hide. But hey, conflictual emotions are a start - 7 months ago I only wanted to stay away.

I had a fairly strong realization/HS insight the other day. I was thinking about the kind things that people have said to me (such as missing me) and how I tend to internally be somewhat dimissive (they're just being nice). I felt like an important step for me is believing what people say to me. Looks so basic when I actually type it out, but I'm starting to see how choosing to not believe people sabotages relationship.